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Caution - Opinions ahead often with a sarcastic tone.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Hobo with a...Lawnmower!

A few months ago when it started to get nice out I realized it was time to clean up that yard, mow the lawn and plant a garden. One problem, I’m not fond of yard clean up, mowing the lawn or gardening. Second problem, I don’t even own a lawnmower, a rake, gardening supplies and I’m rather surprised that I have real garbage cans.

Here’s the lucky part…

I live in the ghetto, complete with hobos and a full police presence most days knocking down the grow ops. However, I guess one particular hobo took one look at my yard and figured I must need help. He knocked on the door, told me he and his friend had a lawnmower and wouldn’t mind doing the yard work for a small fee of $20.

So there it was, not a sexy lawn boy like a woman my age should have but…2 hobos! Yep, HOBOs!!!

Gean and Pete from down the street (have I mentioned I live in the ghetto). For $20 they do it all, mow the front, the back and get rid of any garbage. I for some reason hang on to garbage – I can never remember what day garbage day is or for some reason my brain believes that the garbage will drag itself to the curb.

Gean is the deal maker and the fast talker and Pete is the silent worker, quietly mowing without complaint while Gean makes jokes and bums (no pun intended) cigarettes. They smell like beer and B.O. but hey the job gets done. I think that’s what Charlie Sheen would call “Winning”. Sorry – I couldn’t resist throwing a bit of Sheen.

The first time they came to mow my conversation with Gean went something like this:

Me – “My name is Julie by the way, what’s yours?”
Gean – “Gean”
Me – “Gene”
Gean – “No…Ge..an”
Me – “Ok, Gene”
Gean – “No…like G.E.A.N”
Me – “Yeah…Gene”
Gean – *shakes his head*, “Don’t worry about it”.

After the lawn was mowed and the guys were paid Gean told me that his other buddy (I guess Hobo number 3) was going to the dump in the morning so him and Pete would be back to take my garbage either later in the evening or tomorrow morning – sounded good to me. A couple hours later (and I’m sure a few beers with that fresh 20 dollar bill I gave them) I looked out the window to see Gean and Pete with a shopping cart. You guessed it, they had it to take the garbage. They loaded up my garbage in the cart and strolled away. Where that garbage ended up, I have no idea – do I think it’s sitting at the dump – Not a chance!


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