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Monday, July 13, 2009

The Grasshopper and the Parasite

Bloodsucker n.

1. An animal, such as a leech, that sucks blood;
2. An extortionist or a blackmailer;
3. A person who is intrusively or overly dependent upon another; a parasite.

Often men come into our lives that require a compassionate soul to lean on. This guy can be just out of a bad relationship or even still half in one. They often present themselves as the guy friend and even convince us they’re our best friend.

My young friend who I’ve named Grasshopper was recently in this type of relationship. She met a guy, we’ll call The Parasite. In the beginning when they met the Parasite had just gotten out of a bad relationship. He would talk to the Grasshopper for hours, complaining about his ex. He would tell her that she was so thoughtful and generous and really knew how to listen. He convinced her that she had become his best friend. So do they live happily ever after? NO!

At times the Parasite wanted to be not only best friends, but friends with benefits so to speak. This thrilled the young Grasshopper, finally a great guy, who was sensitive and caring and liked her as a person, enough to call her his best friend and who could really see what she had to offer as a person. (Spoiler Alert – men do this if they think you are losing interest in their problems or they need to feel like a man)

During the Parasites many rough patches, he started to spend time with his ex again and he no longer wanted the benefits he had once asked for, in fact never spoke of them again as if it had never happened. Although he and his ex had not gotten back together the Parasite would try to win her undying affections again, leaving the Grasshopper to pick up the pieces of his failed attempts. She was in fact his best friend right? She sat for hours listening to him complain about the other woman, never once complaining about where the mention “benefits” had gone and growing anger that this other woman was just playing all these games with him, completely unaware that he was playing them with her. Full of anger towards the ex and with the thoughts of one day he will be free from this “evil” woman she sat patient waiting for him to see her and realize that she was the better woman.

After some time passed and nothing changed between this ménage a trios; she in fact had a problem or two of her own in which she needed a friend. As she attempted to speak to him on issues that were solely her own, he changed the subject back to his broken heart and his countless issues. He was jobless, girlfriendless, and completely oblivious to the fact that most of his issues were his own fault.

Awhile more had past and the in-person meetings between the Grasshopper and the Parasite had come to a halt and the phone calls/texting/Facebooking/Online Chatting had slowed and it had become apparent to the Grasshopper that the Parasite had finally cured himself of his neediness or found a new host on which to feed. But being a good friend she tried repeatedly to contact him – they were best friends right? He would say he was going to phone later, say he would “try” to make time for her, “try” to see her soon but became increasingly unavailable. So unavailable in fact, he stopped responding all together. I guess the Grasshopper was no longer a use to the Parasite as he was full and finally happy.

I told her to start deleting and blocking him. She was reluctant at first thinking that her friend would come around, be back soon, and see the light. So we put it to the test. I said text him and see if he responds. Three pints low she did and never got a response. So she deleted him to see if he would even notice – HE DIDN’T!

Women often find strays, some woman’s garbage that will find you, a caring soul full of life and love, and use you until they get her back or someone else without any problems of their own that can cater to their every whim. They never take their “friends” seriously as mates or see them other then bodies on which to feed. Once you present yourself as a listener requiring nothing for yourself, you become food for their manhood. They will drain you and not look back at the carnage created by their feasting.

So why do we fall for it? We want a man who is sensitive and caring. We see these men as willing to sacrifice their souls for the one they love and we want a piece. We want a man to feel that way about us, a man who can’t exist devoid of us, who is torn into a million pieces without us. Unfortunately it isn’t us and it will never be us, at least with him. This is a true predator, a wolf in loves clothing.

But don’t feel too bad for the young Grasshopper, she may be sad and torn but she still has enough energy to leave one final thought:

Dear Parasite,
I hate you. You are a loser. You have ripped my heart out and I hope you’ve had fun doing it.
Your most recent ex-best friend,
Better off without you

1 comment:

  1. last few days our group held a similar discussion about this subject and you illustrate something we have not covered yet, thanks.

    - Laura